BLESSABLE ME - Choosing The Right Friends SKIT

BLESSABLE ME SERIES - Choosing The Right Friends Skit

Three of the JR. Leaders in our Children's Ministry wrote this skit for our upcoming Blessable Me series. 

 

                Cast:     

                                Dr. Nefario

                                Margo

                                Edith

                                Agnes

 

                Setting: 

                In the girls’ bedroom at Gru’s house, Edith is in a huff and packing her belongings into a
                 Walmart bag.

 

                Skit:

 

Margo and Agnes enter the bedroom.

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          What are you doing?!

 

                                                                                          EDITH

                                          I’m leaving!  I’m going back to Mrs. Hattie’s!

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          If she’s leaving, I’m leaving, too!  And I’m taking my
                                          unicorn with me!

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          No one’s leaving!

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Is Gru leaving?  I like him. He’s nice.

 

                                                                                          EDITH

                                          And scary….

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Like Santa!

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          No, Agnes, Gru’s not leaving.

 

Nefario enters immediately on his motorized scooter .  His scooter moves slowly toward the girls, but his expression is very concerned.

 

                                                                                          NEFARIO

                                          What?! Who’s not breathing?  Hop on!  I’ll take you to
                                          the ER!

 

Motorized scooter barely moves.

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          No, Nefario… No one’s leaving.

 

                                                                                          NEFARIO

                                                  (pulls out a switch)

                                          Who needs a beatin’?

 

                                                                                          ALL THREE GIRLS

                                          Gru’s not leaving!

 

                                                                                          NEFARIO

                                          You’ve already eaten?

 

                                                                                          ALL THREE GIRLS

                                          WE SAID GRU’S NOT LEAVING!!!!!

 

                                                                                          NEFARIO

                                          Oooooh.  Why are you talking about leaving?

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Gru won’t let me get the new unicorn from Dollar Tree! 
                                          It’s so fluffy, I’m gonna die!!!

 

                                                                                          EDITH

                                          Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.

 

Edith starts leaving.  Nefario cuts her off on his scooter and holds up a stop sign. 

 

                                                                                          NEFARIO

                                          Stop!  We don’t bounce like that!

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          Edith, you aren’t leaving.  We’ll tough it out TOGETHER. 
                                          Just think abot all the things we say we’ll have when
                                          we’re grown.

 

                                                                                          EDITH

                                          Like my very own bug collection?

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Pretty unicorns!!!

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          Our own dance studio!

 

Nefario begins to exit on his scooter but stops suddenly inspired by their conversation.  He realizes getting rid of the girls and refocusing Gru’s attention on stealing the moon might not be so difficult after all.

 

                                                                                          NEFARIO

                                          You know, girls, Vector would be able to give you
                                          everything you ever dreamed of.  A dancing unicorn in a
                                          studio made of bugs.

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Wow!

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          Gross!  I don’t want bugs in my dream studio!  And isn’t
                                          Vector the “World’s Greatest Villain”?

 

                                                                                          EDITH

                                          I don’t care!  As long as I get what I WANT!  Who cares
                                          how mean he is?

 

                                                                                          MARGO
                                          But, Edith, listen is he gonna love us like Gru does?

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Gru loves us?  Are you sure?  He’s kinda scary.

 

                                                                                          MARGO

                                          Yes, of course!  Remember how he reads us THREE
                                          LITTLE KITTENS.  And buys us as many tickets as we
                                          want at the carnival.  And he did win you that unicorn,
                                          didn’t he, Agnes?

 

                                                                                          AGNES

                                          Yes!  And it’s soooooo fluffy!

 

                                                                                          EDITH

                                          Yeah…. I guess it’s not as bad as Mrs. Hattie’s BOX OF
                                          SHAME.  And Gru does seem to love us.  Even if he doesn’t let me           take the minions to dance and dress them in tutus. 

CROWNED: The Burger King Skit

BURGER KING SKIT

Have a table set up with a chair.  Set a Whopper on the table.  BURGER KING KING enters.  He sits at the table and immediately tries to take a bite out of the Whopper.

 FIREHOUSE ADULT LEADER: 

                Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a     minute!  You can’t eat it.

 KING:

                What?! 

FIREHOUSE ADULT LEADER:

                Not yet.  The Burger King producer         wants the whopper in the
                commercial.

KING:

                Oh, okay…

KING stares down at the yummy Whopper.

 FIREHOUSE ADULT LEADER: 

                We’re all so happy to have you here.     We’re actually doing a series on—

KING: 

                Right, right.  Uh-huh.

KING never takes his eyes off of the whopper.

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR enters with his video camera.

 

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: 

                Don’t even think about it.  We go through this every time.  You can eat     the whopper
                after I finish filming. 

KING: 

                I know. I know.  It’s just so delicious.

KING reaches for the whopper.  COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR pops his hand.

 COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR:              

                If you eat it , I have to go all the way      back to Burger King and order
                another burger. 

THE KING’S EYES LIGHT UP.

KING:

                So if I eat this burger before the commercial… You’ll get another burger
                for the commercial?

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR is furious.

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR:

                No, if you eat that burger, I’LL FIRE YOU!!!!  THAT MEANS NO MORE
                FREE WHOPPERS FOR YOU!!!

KING:

                Oh…

The king stares at the whopper sadly while the director fiddles with his camera.

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR:

                Oh, man, can you believe I forgot a   tape??

KING:

                Maybe they should fire you!

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: 

                Yeah, yeah.  I’ve got more tapes in my bag.  Just don’t eat the whopper
                while I run to my car.  Can you do that?! 

The King nods.

 The Commercial Director runs to his car (hide in the youth office).

 The King stares down at the whopper.  He picks at the hamburger meat.

 KING:

                He sure is taking a long time.

KING opens up the bun and dramatically smells the hamburger.

KING:

                Mmmmm-mmmm.  Can’t wait to tear   into it.  I’m starting to think that
                director is never coming back.

FIREHOUSE LEADER: 

                Don’t do it.  You’ll get fired!

KING: 

                Relax.  I’m just smelling it.  The delicious  hamburger meat.  The fresh
                tomatoes.  And pickles. 

 

The KING can’t take it anymore.  He bites into the whopper making a big mess just as the COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR returns.

 

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: 

                That’s it!  You’re fired.

KING: 

                No!  I didn’t think you were ever coming  back.  The burger was going to
                go bad.

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: 

                I told you not to eat it!  I told you if you did, you would be fired! 

KING:

                You can’t fire me!  I’m Burger Kings very first king!

COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: 

                I just did!  Now give me back that crown! 

KING:

                Never!

The king takes off running with his whopper.  The commercial director catches up with him, takes his paper crown, and tears it into a bunch of pieces.

KING:

               Ha!!!  Still got my whopper!